


Just a summer thing

by OhDarn116



Category: The Wilds (TV 2020)
Genre: Angst and Humor, Endgame Shelby Goodkind/Toni Shalifoe, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, Falling In Love, Fluff, Girls Kissing, Kissing, Sexual Tension, Shelby Goodkind/Toni Shalifoe-centric, Summer Love, new zealand au, toni has a kiwi accent cuz shes sexy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-24 08:13:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30069273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OhDarn116/pseuds/OhDarn116
Summary: After an incident back in Texas, Shelby's father insists on taking the whole family on a summer trip to New Zealand. While there, Shelby must come to terms with the fact being perfect isn't the most important thing in the world... And Toni has to come to terms with the annoying blonde girl who's rooming next to her for the next three months.or'“Fair point. You know, from what Martha’s told me, the newbies are going to be a pretty big handful.”“Yeah, I expected as much. I mean, anyone who has both ‘good’ and ‘kind’ anywhere in their name has gotta be a total mental case.”Leah looks like she’s about to say something when the sharp ring from the harbor draws both of their attention to the boats bobbing up and down in the water.“Fuck.” Toni says, mostly to herself.“Holy shit,” Leah scoffs, “They all look straight out of a Folgers coffee commercial.”'
Relationships: Fatin Jadmani/Leah Rilke, Shelby Goodkind/Toni Shalifoe
Comments: 38
Kudos: 217





	1. I hope I didn't ruin your whole vacation

**Author's Note:**

> To preface this, I am not from NZ so I'm probably gonna butcher loads of stuff lmao. There are also loads of Golden Boy references cuz that show lowkey slaps and I need more of it in my life. 
> 
> This fic is basically call me by your name but without the creepy age gap, and heavily inspired by Phoebe Bridgers cover of 'Summers End.'

A particularly large pothole jostles the quaint rent car, forcing Shelby awake with a sharp hiss as she smacks her head against the window beside her. She blinks the sleep from her eyes, running her tongue by her dry lips, wrinkling her nose at the bad taste in her mouth her short nap has given her. 

Outside the car, the bright gray haze of an overcast sky shines in through the window, only adding to Shelby’s already growing headache. 

Her siblings are both awake in the seat next to her, bickering about who will get to choose which room they’ll be staying in, once they arrive at their home for the next three months. 

“Now now kiddos,” David Goodkind scolds them from the driver's seat, “Pipe down or I’ll pick your rooms for you.”

Shelby smirks as Melody and Spencer groan in unison, sending each other mirrored glares before clamping their mouths shut. 

A comforting silence falls over the family, the only sound being the quiet crackle coming from the radio, playing a station Shelby’s never heard before. It’s almost enough to lull her back asleep.

A few minutes later, the car jerks to a sudden stop. Shelby sighs groggily as the rest of her family cheers half-heartedly at their arrival. As her mother and father step out of the car, Shelby eyes the small harbor around them, if you could even call it that.

Though her father promised a resort fit for that of a king, it was becoming painfully apparent that, despite booking a full itinerary, the actual summer home they’d be staying in isn’t the five star hotel Shelby had been expecting. Not that she’s complaining at all, one summer away from the close-minded suburbs of Texas is enough to take her mind off of the fact that she’ll be staying in someone else’s bed for the next few months. 

There’s a sudden knock on the window, from her father, startling Shelby from her thoughts. “You comin’ out here to help or what?” He echoes through the glass. 

Shelby steps out of the car, offering to help her mother with her suitcase. 

“Look alive Shelb!” Her father announces, clapping her on the back, “Why the long face?”

She forces a grin onto her lips, “Just a little tired is all.”

David shakes his head, “Well try to look a little more presentable, hm? Wouldn’t want our hosts thinkin’ so badly about us, now would we?” He doesn’t wait for a response before handing her yet another bag and makes his way down to the docks. 

Shelby blinks fervently, stamping down the dread in her gut. She checks her reflection in the shine of the car window, making an effort to fix her hair and plaster a pageant-ready smile onto her face. 

“Everything alright, Honey?” Jobeth asks her, closing the trunk. 

Shelby nods but says nothing. 

“Well then, we best get going,” Her mother says cheerfully, “Our ferry leaves in five.”

***

“I got you this time, motherfucker,” Toni says under her breath. Her thighs burn from crouching for so long, and she can feel a trail of sweat making its way down her back. She shifts slightly in the tall grass in which she’s hiding, eyes fixed on her target a few yards away. 

She plants her boots firmly in the damp ground as she prepares herself to pounce. Next to her, the Blackburn family dog Marcus follows her lead.

Toni turns to him, “You ready to get this bastard?” 

Marcus simply tilts his head at her.

“Okay buddy- three…” She digs her fingers into the mud, “...two…” A low growl forms in the dog's throat, “... one!”

She hurls into a sprint, pumping her legs as fast as she can, determined to finally catch the damned sheep that’s been causing a pain in her ass all afternoon. Despite her head start, Marcus bounds past her, surpassing her speed with ease. 

He circles the stray cattle, nipping at their calves any time they stray a little too far from the rest of the herd. 

“This way boy!” Toni shouts at him, she whistles sharply and gestures towards the stray sheep running opposite. 

Marcus runs towards it, but despite his best efforts to turn the animal around, it doesn’t budge. For a moment Toni considers the fact that she might actually have to tackle this thing, but when Marcus bites particularly hard on the sheeps’ behind, Toni manages to get a rope around its bucking head. 

“Christ, settle down you bitch.” Toni growls, tugging the rope until the animal finally stops struggling. 

Marcus barks at Toni, wagging his tail. Toni grins, tossing a stick of jerky at him from her overall pocket. “Thatta boy.” She tells him.

Toni makes quick work of the rest of the flock. It’s liberating in a strange way, to come out on the farm every day and round up the animals, and though it isn’t technically her job- it adds a nice extra few bucks to her weekly paycheck. 

She’s just finished closing up the pen when a voice behind her shouts, “There you are! I’ve been looking everywhere for you!”

Toni turns around, greeting her best friend Martha with an easy smile, “Something’ the matter Marty?”

The other girl rolls her eyes, pausing to pat Marcus on the head before saying, “Come on Toni, you know the new guests are coming today, don’t play cool with me.”

Toni wrinkles her nose, following Martha down the dirt trail that leads up to the Blackburns main property. “That’s today? Huh, must’ve slipped my mind.” Martha shoves her hard in the ribs. 

“You know how important this is to my parents! It's the first time in five years since we’ve booked the whole house for the summer. It needs to be perfect.”

Toni kicks a few pebbles into the grass, “I’ll never understand your obsession with pleasing white colonizers from America.”

Martha stares pointedly at her, “Okay, first off- we aren’t pleasing them because they're white, we’re pleasing them so they give us five stars on our website. Secondly, we’ve got two decent sized families staying here this year, and if things aren’t spick and span, Moms gonna-”

Toni waves her hands in dismissal, “Alright, I get it, you can stop lecturing me now.”

“Just try to be good, okay?” Martha pleads, giving Toni puppy dog eyes that could put even Marcus to shame. 

She sighs, “Only for you Marty B.” Martha beams at her, “But if any of those one-percenters get anywhere near my garden I’ll make sure they never see the light of day again.”

Martha giggles, and though Toni’s tone is teasing, there’s definitely a truth to it. 

“You know,” Martha points out, “if things go smoothly this year, Dad says I have a pretty good shot at taking over for him after graduation.”

“Shit Marty,” Toni grins, wrapping a loving arm around her shoulder, “that’s fucking amazing!”

She smirks slyly at Toni, “Which is just another reason you should help me out this summer.”

Toni throws her head back, groaning dramatically. She knows Martha’s right, but it doesn’t mean she has to be happy about it. 

“Fine,” Toni agrees, “I’ll be civil as long as they don’t get in my way.”

Martha nods, “I’ll make sure of it T, you’re the best.”

“Don’t I know it,” Toni says, squeezing her even tighter. 

“Oh God Toni, gross!” She exclaims, “You smell like wet dog! I just got into my uniform!” Martha wriggles out from underneath her grip, making an effort to brush off the dirt from her pants. 

Toni watches her fuss over her work clothes, trying her best not to laugh too hard. 

“Go change out of that this instant!” Martha scolds her, “I won’t let our guests see you in nothing but overalls and a pair of boots.”

“Don’t forget my hat.” Toni grins, flicking the bill of her ratty baseball cap. 

“Shoo! Go get dressed!” Martha orders, shoving Toni towards the workshed where extra uniforms, along with a variety of other necessities, are held, “I’ll meet you at the house when you’re done. Be ready with your best customer service smile!”

Toni watches her go for a moment, Marcus heavy on her heels, before making her way inside the cramped building. She changes quickly into a set of baggy khaki shorts and a striped t-shirt with the Blackburn logo on the breast. 

When she exits the building, she’s met with a figure standing relaxed against the doorframe outside. 

“Fuck, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in such a hurry,” Leah smirks, looking up from the book in her hand, “Well, maybe except for that time they were selling Takis for half off at the drug store.”

“Hey,” Toni quips, “It’s not every day you can get three bags at the dairy for half the price of one.”

Leah dog ears the corner of her page with a shake of her head, “Cutting it pretty close aren’t you? The Goodkind's docked here like five minutes ago.” 

Toni shrugs, taking in the taller girl. It’s Leah Rilke's third year staying at the Blackburn's summer home, for some exchange student program she’s part of back in the States. To be honest, Toni doesn’t know the full details- other than the fact that Leah's parents had started sending her off after they found out about her dating some overaged scumbag. That and the fact she plans on going into some journaling career, though Toni isn’t really sure how living in New Zealand will help out with any of that. 

“Yeah well, I didn’t show up at all for either of the Jadmani's arrivals, so I think this is actually an improvement,” Toni says. Leah shuffles at the mention of their other customers' family name. It’s the second year they’ve booked a spot here, and after noticing a few lingering stares on Leah's part, Toni’s pretty sure she’s got a thing for their eldest daughter. 

Leah says, “Fair point. You know, from what Martha’s told me, the newbies are going to be a pretty big handful.”

“Yeah, I expected as much. I mean, anyone who has both ‘good’ and ‘kind’ anywhere in their name has gotta be a total mental case.”

Leah looks like she’s about to say something when the sharp ring from the harbor draws both of their attention to the boats bobbing up and down in the water. 

“Fuck.” Toni says, mostly to herself. She squints against the sun and watches as the Blackburn family greets a group of strangers as they step onto the beach. From what Toni can make out, they look like any family you’d see on some Disney Channel sitcom- all fit with fair hair, a fake tan, and that American smile that seems to say, ‘Look at me, I’m better than you.’ 

“Holy shit,” Leah scoffs, “They all look straight out of a Folgers coffee commercial.”

Toni snorts, “Tell me about it. This summers gonna be a total bust.” She sighs, “Well, I guess I should head over there, I’ll see you at dinner.”

Leah chuckles, “Yeah see you. Good luck with America’s Best.”

Toni simply flips her off. But Leah's right, she’s gonna need all the luck she can get. 

***

Despite the overcast sky and less than brilliant ferry ride over, Shelby’s pleasantly surprised by how professional the Blackburns seem to be. 

Upon landing on the shore, the Goodkind's are immediately met with three friendly faces- that of a middle-aged couple, and the other of a girl who seems to be more around Shelby’s age. Not long after they greet them, Shelby learns that the couple is Mr. and Mrs. Blackburn themselves, and that the girl is their daughter Martha.

Almost immediately, Shelby hits it off with the other girl- and for the first time since they boarded their plane to New Zealand, she begins to think that maybe this trip wasn’t such a bad idea after all. 

Shelby listens intently as Martha and her mother fill them in on the history of their establishment, along with all the tourist spots they should be keen on visiting during their stay. 

While they make their way up to the main building, Shelby takes in her surroundings. She wasn’t too sure what she’d been expecting upon visiting a totally foreign country, but this definitely wasn’t it. The air is warm, although admittedly humid- not too different from back in Texas. What is different though, are the chirping of birds (she assumes), of a kind she’s never heard before. Shelby wonders how different wildlife is around here, and makes a mental note in the back of her mind to purchase a bird-watching booklet from the local shop. 

There are several different buildings they pass by on their tour: a workshed, a few stables far off in the distance, and a greenhouse. The landscaping leading up to the main building is surprisingly impressive as well. Shelby thinks that if she ever gets the pleasure of meeting the gardener, she’ll make an effort to tell them just how well they are at their job. 

Finally, they arrive at the main building. It’s much larger than Shelby had expected- three stories from the looks of it, and almost as wide as it is tall. The walls are made up of some sort of stone, and several bay windows overlook the seaside. 

The sheer size of it all must surprise her father as well, because he lets out a whistle and says, “Oooh wee! What did I tell y'all? Only the best for my family, isn’t that right?” He whirls around to the rest of them, who smile back in quick agreement. Even Shelby herself manages to nod her head because he’s right, this place is actually pretty awesome. 

Mr. Blackburn smiles proudly, “Glad you lot like the place.” He claps his hands together, “Martha, why don’t you show these friendly folks to their rooms, I’m sure everyone's pretty tuckered out from the trip.”

“Sure thing Dad,” Martha says, gesturing for them to follow suit. 

The inside of the house is more crowded than Shelby would’ve thought, giving it much more of a homey feeling than its cold exterior. Photos of past visitors hang with pride on the wooden walls leading up to the main living area, along with those of the Blackburn family, and a few other people who she assumes work here as well. 

Martha gives a quick rundown of each room, directing them to where all the bathrooms are, and where they can find the kitchen.

“Now tell me,” David says, “What kind of activities do y’all have around these parts.” 

Shelby drowns out the sound of their conversation, and soon finds herself wandering through a few other rooms in the house. It’s only when she can no longer hear the rasp of her father's laughter that Shelby realizes she has no real clue where she is.

“I got lost plenty my first time too,” a girl says, appearing from seemingly nowhere.

Shelby jumps at the sound of her voice, “Oh uhm, sorry, I didn’t know anyone was down here.”

The girl grins, “Yeah, this place is a fucking maze. My rooms just down the hall.” She holds out a perfectly manicured hand, “Fatin Jadmani.”

Shelby shakes it hesitantly, “Shelby Goodkind.” She pauses for a moment, realizing that the girl doesn’t share the same accent as the rest of the islanders she’s met so far, “You’re American?”

Fatin cocks an eyebrow, “Please tell me you aren’t one of those white chicks who insist on asking brown people where they’re from.”

“No! No not at all!” Shelby rushes, feeling herself flush, “I only meant- you aren’t from here, are you?”

She shakes her head, “Nah, the fam and I come here for vacation every year. Well- this is only the second summer, but you get the point.” Fatin looks her up and down. Shelby wriggles under the weight of her stare, feeling as if her dark brown eyes are putting in an effort to see what Shelby’s really all about, “What brings you to the land of the kiwi’s?”

Shelby rocks back and forth on the balls of her feet, “Just here for the summer. My daddy thought some time away from Texas might do us all some good.” What she doesn’t say though, is why exactly that is- doesn’t say that she is the reason they’re here. 

Fatin seems to catch on that she isn’t telling the whole story, but says nothing, merely nodding instead.

“Well, if you’re spending the summer here, I’ll be pleased to tell you that the company’s pretty great.” Fatin grins, “I’ve actually got a few friends down here, pen pals from last year, if you will.”

Shelby perks up, “Thank the Lord. I could use a few fresh faces in my life.”

“Oh yeah,” Fatin smirks, “Not to mention all the babes you’ll meet too.” She gives Shelby a one-over, “You into chicks or dicks? Cuz if you want, I can hook you up with either or.” She leans in, whispering, “But just between you and me, I got eyes on that journalist bitch, so keep your hands off.”

“I uhm,” Shelby chokes out, unsure how to answer, “I’m not really lookin’ to meet anyone out here. My boyfriend, well ex-boyfriend I suppose- we just broke up about a week ago so…”

Fatin frowns, “Well, suit yourself then. More for me.”

She grins nervously, “I wouldn’t be opposed to you showin’ me around though, if you really were offering? God knows my sense of direction isn’t the best, and I’d love to get to know the area.”

Fatin smiles, “That’s the spirit. I’ll talk to ole’ Martha about a trip to town tomorrow. You can meet the rest of the gals.”

She’s about to thank Fatin, when she hears her mother's voice call her from down the hallway. She says a quick apology to the other girl and jogs off, not wanting to worry her parents. 

She’s about to turn a corner when she’s met with a firm body slamming into her, throwing her back against the wall. 

“What the hell was that for?” The person she ran into growls, rubbing a spot on her head where it had hit the door frame. 

“Oh Lord,” Shelby exclaims, “I am so sorry, here, let me help you.” She reaches down to help the girl from where she’d fallen, only to be pushed away with the fiercest glare Shelby’s ever seen. 

“Watch where you’re going, blondey.” She grumbles. The girl's voice is raspy, and thick with an accent. 

“No need to be so rude about it.” Shelby frowns, “It’s not like I meant to run into you.”

The shorter girls scowl deepens, “Whatever.”

They stand there for an agonizingly long time, neither saying a word. Shelby sneaks a look at the other girl, only to find her staring back already. 

She sighs, “My name's Toni.”

Shelby blinks at her in surprise, not expecting the sudden introduction. “Uh, I’m-”

“Shelby, yeah I know” Toni answers for her, and Shelby hates the way the sound of her name spoken on her tongue sends goosebumps down her spine, “I met your dad earlier. I actually was sent to come look for you. Marty says your rooms’ ready.”

“Oh, that was very kind of you.” Shelby offers. 

Toni shrugs, “Don’t mention it.”

She isn’t sure why, but Shelby finds herself asking, “So what’s your gig around here?”

Toni looks at her, mouth opening slightly, “I actually live here with the Blackburns. I work here during the summers.” She looks like she wants to say more, but is cut off when David Goodkind suddenly appears behind them.

“Shelby! There you are darlin’ I was gettin’ worried.” He says, pushing past Toni without so much as a second glance. 

“I was just exploring the grounds,” Shelby tells him.

David nods, “I see. Well, why don’t you come back with the rest of us? Mrs. Blackburn says dinners served at seven, and it looks like you could use a few hours of beauty sleep by then.”

Shelby freezes at the comment. Out of the corner of her eye, she can see Toni shift, but she can’t bring herself to look at the other girl's expression. 

David leads them out of the corridor, Toni straying a few steps behind them. 

Once back in the living room, Martha informs them that the rooms they’ve been given are on the second floor. 

Shelby trails behind the group as Martha takes them to where they’ll be sleeping for the next three months. She spares one last glance at Toni, who watches them from the bottom of the stares, expression unreadable. Their eyes lock for a moment. Shelby can’t help but notice how the brown of her irises seems to glow like honey in the sunlight.

Shelby reaches her room last. Martha smiles sweetly at her, “Here you are. I saved the best for last.” She winks.

“You’re a doll, Martha.” Shelby tells her, “I think I’m really going to like it here.”

“You have no idea how much it means to hear you say that,” Martha tells her. “I suppose I should leave you to settle in now. I’ll be right downstairs if you need anything, and if there’s any trouble at all Toni’s rooming right next door.” She adds, pointing to the door a few feet away from Shelby’s.

Martha waves her goodbye and Shelby settles into her new bed. She sighs, taking in her surroundings. 

“Well, I suppose this is it.” She mutters to herself, “Home sweet home.”


	2. Into the garden by the hand, you've always had me walking on a string

Shelby learns a lot about the others that night. She learns Martha and Toni have been best friends, more like sisters really, since they were seven years old; she learns Leah Rilke, a young woman around her age Shelby only met at dinner, plans on moving to New Zealand for a few years after high school; and she learns Fatin Jadmani has a mouth so dirty it rivals that of a pirate strung out on whiskey. 

Shelby also learns that her father hates it. 

It’s embarrassing, to be honest, to be seated right next to the man as he bickers back and forth with a group of teenage girls on the proper etiquette that is to be used at the dinner table. 

Mr. and Mrs. Blackburn watch in awkward silence, unsure of how to handle the situation. It’s only when Jobeth rests a warning hand on her husband's shoulder, that he finally shuts up about Fatin’s table manners. 

Shelby shoots an apologetic look the other girl's way. Fatin, for her part, manages to look the slightest bit entertained by the whole thing and waves Shelby off. 

The rest of the meal is curt, the air filled with tension. 

So much for good first impressions.

***

She isn’t sure how, but somehow Martha gets Toni to agree on heading into town with the rest of the girls the next day. 

“Come on, Toni,” she says, “It’s your day off! The least you could do is come with us while we show Shelby around.”

Toni crosses her arms, “I don’t know Marty, something about that chick rubs me the wrong way. You saw the way her dad was rambling on about prayers last night and seems like the apple doesn’t fall very far from the tree in that family.”

Martha gives her a look, “Just give her a chance. For me, please? I think Shelby seems really nice.”

As if speaking her name could summon her, the blonde herself bursts from the back door out into the courtyard. There’s a broad smile painted across her face, and it makes Toni’s skin itch at how someone could possibly be so cheerful this early in the morning. 

“Mornin’ y’all.” She greets with a small wave, “Aren’t the sunrises here just the loveliest thing you’ve ever seen? I swear, I could watch the sun climb up over those hills for the rest of my life.”

Toni snorts, “Trust me, after seventeen years living on this island, you get used to it.”

Shelby’s eyebrows draw together, “Looks like someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed.”

Martha giggles, “That’s Toni for you, she’s never been much of a morning person.”

“What the hell Marty?” Toni snaps at her. Since when did she become all buddy-buddy with Shelby fucking Goodkind anyway?

“Greetings bitches!” Fatin announces, sauntering down the stone stairway to stand beside Shelby, “Who put a stick up your ass?” She asks, noticing the look on Toni’s face. 

She turns away from the group, unable to stand the way Shelby’s green eyes bore into her soul like she’s actually trying to get under Toni’s skin, “Can you all just shut up so we can get out of here? I want to get this trip over with as soon as humanly possible.”

“Jesus, okay.” Fatin remarks, “Hey uh, where’s Rilke, she’s not coming with?”

Martha begins her tread down the driveway, the others follow close behind, “She’s starting the car as we speak.”

Fatin sighs dreamily, “What a gentlewoman.”

Toni grins, “Damn, you really got it bad, huh?”

She shrugs, “What can I say? Tall girls do it for me,” Fatin glances at Shelby, “If things don’t work out with me and Leah, you’re next.”

Shelby trips on her own feet, eyes wide with shock, “I um, I’m not-- it’s uh-”

Toni rolls her eyes, “We get it, you’re straight as fuck. No need to get all weird about it.”

Shelby opens and closes her mouth a few times, but no words come out. Her face is flushed and she blinks a few times. Toni shakes her head at the sight. Martha might not believe her, but from what she’s witnessed so far, Toni wouldn’t be surprised if Shelby was a raging homophobe just like her old man. 

“Hey Rilke, I missed you babes.” Fatin winks at Leah when they reach the car. The dark-haired girl shoves her off, but Toni doesn’t miss the way her cheeks turn a slight shade of pink. 

“Okay losers, hop in,” Leah tells them.

Fatin slams the top of the sleek vehicle, “We’re going shopping!”

***

No amount of flyers or google searches could have prepared Shelby for the raw beauty of the island. As Leah speeds down the long winding roads, the bright morning sun shines in through the open windows. All around her, she can smell the salty ocean air. On one side, for as far as the eye can see, is all ocean- bright blue and glittering against the rays of dawn. To the other side of the vehicle is a vast expanse of rolling hills and lush green grass. In the distance, Shelby can make out what looks to be the haze of a small town. 

“Enjoying yourself?” Toni asks her upon seeing the pleased expression on her face. She’s pressed close against Shelby’s side, arm brushing against her own. 

Shelby raises an eyebrow at the other girl, unable to tell if it’s a genuine question or not. “I am. It's very beautiful here.”

Toni nods. Shelby expects her to say more, but instead, she simply turns to face out the window. An odd mix of disappointment and curiosity churns in Shelby’s chest. Something about Toni makes her want to know more. 

“Hey Blue Eyes,” Fatin says from the passenger's seat, “You mind if I run the aux?”

Leah replies, “As long as you don’t play any of that ‘WAP’ shit, I’m cool with anything.”

Fatin plugs her phone in and turns to face the girls in the back seat, “Any requests?”

Shelby looks between Martha and Toni before answering, “Do you guys have Taylor Swift here?”

Toni releases a sharp laugh, “Jesus fuck- this is New Zealand, not Mars. Everyone has Taylor Swift.”

“Well- that then,” Shelby says with a blush. 

Fatin shakes her head, “Fine, but I don’t fuck with any of that country shit. We’re listening to her ‘Reputation’ album.”

They continue to speed down the empty road, the bass coming from Leah’s stereo so loud it rumbles Shelby’s ribs. All the girls are singing loudly, putting no effort into actually harmonizing. 

“You listen to Taylor Swift?” Shelby turns to Toni, eyes widening as she belts out the bridge to ‘Don’t blame me.’

Toni scoffs at her, “Literally everyone does, Texas. Don’t look so surprised.”

Not long after Leah is pulling into the parking lot of a small shop resting on the edge of town. 

“Welcome to the dairy,” Martha informs her, holding the front door open. 

A little bell rings softly as they enter the store. From the looks of it, it’s a sort of novelty shop- selling a combination of overpriced souvenirs for gullible tourists, and groceries for everyday customers. 

There’s a girl leaning nonchalantly against the front counter, looking on the verge of sleep. Her short auburn hair is pulled back into a messy ponytail, revealing dark circles beneath her eyes. The girl's brow shoots up briefly when she sees the large group.

“No fucking way,” she exclaims, “do my eyes deceive me?”

Fatin throws her hands up, a smile on her face, “I’m back fuck face!”

The store clerk bounds to the door, wrapping Fatin in a tight bear hug. Around her, the other girls are all laughing- obviously already in the know about the situation. Shelby watches quietly from the back of the group.

"How long have you been in town?" The girl asks, her accent so thick Shelby can barely understand her words.

Fatin releases herself from the embrace, "Couple days now. Hell who knows, I'm on vacation!"

The clerk grins, "It's good to see you dude, I was getting tired of reading all your letters."

Fatin smirks, "Please, I know you love me." 

Shelby clears her throat suddenly. The group turns to her.

"Oh, where are my manners?" Fatin says easily, "Dorothy, meet Shelby Goodkind- the island's newest victim. Shelby, meet Dorothy, my right-hand man."

The clerk gives Shelby a firm handshake, "Please," she says, "call me Dot."

Fatin wraps an arm around both Dot and Leah, "Welp, now that the pleasantries have been exchanged, can we get a move on? I gotta pocket full of cash that's itching to be spent."

Dot grins, "For sure, have a look around the shop. Stay as long as you want."

As the other girls begin wandering the shelves, Shelby watches as Toni nudges Dot in the ribs.

"Has the new batch come in yet?" She asks.

"Just checked the delivery this morning, should be here by tomorrow morning."

Curiosity peaked, Shelby shuffles to the front counter. "What're you lot whisperin’ about up here?"

Dot stiffens. Next to her, Toni scans Shelbys figure. She tries not to wriggle too much under her steely gaze. 

Toni smirks, "I doubt someone like you would be interested in what I've got to sell."

A cold brick of dread drops to the bottom of Shelby's stomach, "Do you- are you a drug dealer?"

Toni sputters for a moment, expression aghast, "What the fuck? No! I sell vapes, you idiot."

Dot raises her hand slightly, "If you're looking to buy though," she says, "I got a variety of top-notch- ow! What was that for?" She yelps as Toni pinches her.

"You made an agreement not to send tourists any of your shit." Toni reminds her, "I'm holding you to it."

Shelby brushes a strand of hair behind her ear, "I'm definitely not looking too- well…purchase any of that stuff either." 

"Yeesh, fine." Dot sends Shelby a look, "You know where to find me if you change your mind."

Shelby watches as Dot heads back behind the counter, and out the back door to what she assumes is the backlot of the building.

"So…" Shelby says, "Vapes, huh?"

Toni rolls her eyes (Shelby has started to notice she does that a lot), "It's an easy way to pocket cash. Teenagers will buy anything if it comes with a risk."

"Is working for the Blackburns not enough?" Shelby asks, wincing when her tone comes out more condescending than she intended.

"I don't see why that's any of your business." Toni scowls, "Not like you'd understand anyway. I'm sure your dear old dad has already bought you a one-way ticket to university by now." 

Shelby frowns, "I'll have you know, I just happen to have the highest GPA in my class."

Toni barks out a laugh, "Of fucking course you do. At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if you ended up being one of those prissy pageant pussy’s too."

She gulps, hoping her face isn't as red as it feels.

"No fucking way," Toni says, mirth and astonishment written across her features.

Shelby works a small smile onto her face, "Little Miss Texas, three years in a row."

“Damn,” she says, “and I thought Fatin was a basic bitch.” 

“Excuse me?” Shelby asks. What is this girl's problem with her? Ever since yesterday, even after Shelby apologized multiple times, it’s like Toni is out to get her- set on pushing her buttons no matter how much effort she puts into being friendly, “Just because I do pageants doesn’t mean I don’t have any other hobbies. God built us to contain multitudes.”

Toni jostles her shoulders up and down with a chuckle. She hoists herself onto the counter, the veins in her hands flexing impressively as she leans forward, “God’s such a joke. Don’t you know he’s just a brainwashing tool designed to enslave the masses?”

Shelby narrows her eyes at her, their faces level, “Even if he were just a brainwashing tool, don’t you ever think maybe your brain could use a good-- scrub?”

“Fuck off,” Toni growls at her, jumping down from the countertop. As she does, Shelby doesn’t get the chance to step back, causing the front of her chest to brush against Toni’s. It sends a wave of… something through Shelby’s body, and she sends a silent prayer to whoever’s listening that Toni can’t hear the way her breath stutters. 

Without another word, Toni brushes past her. 

After managing to regain her composure, Shelby decides to take a gander around the shop- taking note of the cultural differences on the island compared to that of back in Texas. She also makes sure to purchase a wildlife booklet from the souvenir section.

The girls spend the rest of the day out on the town, Martha shouting out fun facts about each storefront they pass along the way. As they walk, Shelby keeps her distance from Toni, determined not to let the other girls' foul attitude bring her down. 

By the time they return back to the Blackburn property the sun has sunk low on the horizon, covering everything in a warm orange glow. 

Mrs. Blackburn serves up a dinner of grilled lamb, and though Shelby thinks it’s the most delicious thing to ever grace her taste buds, her younger sister Melody has to be taken to bed early for having a fit over the dead baby sheep.

With it being the second night in a row that one of her family members has caused a ruckus at the dinner table, Shelby feels self-conscious about what sort of reputation she’s going to leave behind on these people after returning home. 

The sun is barely peeking over the water's edge by the time dinner is over, but Shelby thinks it’s as good a time as any to head outside and explore the grounds a bit more. She brings her new booklet with her as she explores the gardens that line the dirt trail down to the beach, not expecting to find anything too exciting.

Bare feet step carefully through the rocky sand. The evening air is cool, but not unbearable.

“A little late for you to be out here on your own, isn’t it?” A raspy voice asks, unnervingly close to Shelby’s ear. 

She jumps, sending her best glare Toni’s way as she steps around her, a smug grin on her lips. 

“It’s also a little rude for you to be spooking your guests like that,” Shelby says, “but here we are.”

Toni rubs the palm of her hand against the back of her shorts, “Yeah well, technically you’re Martha’s guest, not mine. I’m just the gardener.”

Shelby gapes at her, “You mean you’re the one who planted all this?” She gestures around her to the yards of various flowers and shrubs growing artfully from the ground.

Toni nods proudly, “Gotta earn my keep somehow. Apparently planting weeds and selling mechanical ciggies is how I do it.”

“Well, I’d hardly call these weeds.” Shelby argues, “Lord, these gardens are gorgeous- you’ve got a real talent Miss Shalifoe.”

It’s dark out, but Shelby’s pretty sure there’s a flush on Toni’s cheeks as she says, “It’s nothing really, just a hobby. Wait- how do you know my last name?”

Shelby chuckles, pointing to the name tag hanging from Toni’s shirt. 

Now the girls definitely blushing, “Oh yeah, right.”

Leaving no time for a pause in the conversation, Shelby asks, “So what are you doing out at this hour?”

“I’m looking for Marcus,” Toni’s eyes flick to Shelby’s confused expression, “The family dog. Marty and I take turns reeling him in for the night.”

“I could help you,” Shelby offers, “I mean- if you need help, that is.”

She pauses for a moment, jaw winding as she considers Shelby’s offer, “Yeah whatever, just don’t be a bother.” 

Toni walks away without waiting for a reply, causing Shelby the need to jog a little in order to catch up.

A peaceful moment of silence stretches on, safe for the sound of the waves crashing against the shoreline as the two girls make their way down the harbor in search of Marcus. 

“You know those books are a total knock-off.” Toni says eventually, pointing towards the thing in Shelby’s grip, “Half the shit that’s in there is a total lie.”

She sighs, “Yeah well, I seem to be making a fool of myself today- just another thing to add to the list, I suppose.”

“Must be the blonde in you.” Toni jokes.

Shelby releases a breathy laugh, “Wouldn’t be the first time someone’s said that.”

Toni smiles at her- a real smile too- not just her ever-present smirk or occasional smug grin. Shelby mirrors her expression, ignoring the butterflies forming in her stomach. 

They make small talk while continuing down the beach. Compared to the way Toni had acted towards her previously, it’s almost like she’s turned into a whole different person. Here she is now- soft, casual, always quick to return a witty remark. Shelby finds herself relaxing for the first time since she’s arrived on the island. 

They find Marcus on the edge of the property, sleeping underneath the overhanging branches of an old tree. Shelby’s rather surprised that she hasn’t seen the dog as of yet, giving how large he is- all shaggy white fur and muddy paws. 

Shelby shivers as they trek up the hill to the main entrance, wishing she’d thought twice about not bringing a jacket with her.

Toni glances at her, taking notice of the goosebumps traveling up her arms. “Cold?” She asks.

“A little,” Shelby admits.

“Here, take this,” Toni says, shrugging off her navy blue sweater. Underneath she wears nothing but a raggedy green tank top. 

“Oh no, I couldn’t.” Shelby tells her, “You’ll freeze to death in that thing.”

Toni shrugs her off, “It’s nothing I haven’t dealt with before,” she insists, “Just take it.”

Reluctantly, Shelby takes the sweater from her grip and tosses it over her shoulders. Immediately she’s hit with the smell of Toni’s shampoo, it’s actually pretty overwhelming. 

She tries not to suck in a deep breath as she says, “Thank you, really. You’re an angel.”

Toni shoots her a crooked smile, “Any time.”

The house is quiet when the two girls step inside, the only light coming from that of the living room. 

Shelby’s about to bid Toni goodnight, when a firm grasp on her shoulder halts her voice. 

“There you are Shelbs,” her father says, “I was wonderin’ where you’d run off to.”

“Something the matter Daddy?” She asks, eyes flicking towards Toni. 

David follows her line of sight, eyebrows drawing together when he finally acknowledges the shorter girl. “What kept you out so late, dear?”

“Oh, we were- I uh-”

“She was helping me bring Marcus in for the night,” Toni speaks up, patting the dog lightly on his head. 

“I see,” David smiles, “How nice of you Shelbs.” His smile fades into a thin line as he drops his eyes down to the thick sweater hanging limply from his daughter's frame. 

“Trading clothes too, I see?” He asks, taking note of Toni’s bare arms. 

“The beach was cold.” Shelby says, “Toni was just being nice.”

She goes to remove the shirt, but Toni shakes her head, “Keep it. I don’t wear it much anyway.” Shelby blinks, but Toni’s attention isn’t placed on her. Instead, her dark eyes are fixed on David’s, almost as if she’s challenging him to argue back. 

There’s a twitch of something on his face, an expression Shelby’s seen one too many times. The same expression he wore that night when Becca’s parents had called. The same expression he wore as Shelby pleaded for him to listen, to hear her side of the story. 

“Well, I just wanted to see that you got in all right.” David says, “Why don’t you head up to bed Shelbs, we’ve got a long day ahead of us tomorrow.”

With one last glance at Toni, Shelby obeys her fathers' request.

She falls asleep wrapped up in Toni’s sweater, dreaming of sandy beaches and soft smiles, and a cunning snake that’s begging- pleading- challenging for her to take that last step. To bite down on the forbidden fruit. To fail.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey yall, hope you enjoyed this chapter. Updates might slow down pretty soon cuz of school stuff but ill try to keep up with it. 
> 
> \----
> 
> Song recommendation for today: Walking on a string by Matt Berninger, ft. Phoebe Bridgers


	3. Can I keep fallin'? I think I'm still fallin'

The next few weeks pass in a blur, long summer days bleeding into the next as the season crawls on. 

Toni continues her schedule as usual- caring for the properties many gardens, watching over the flock of sheep, and running the occasional errand for Mr. and Mrs. Blackburn. She keeps her distance from the summer tourists too, but remains civil with them (as much as she can muster), per Martha’s request. 

She strays away from the Goodkind’s in particular- not wanting to get caught up in their crazy Christian agenda. 

After the night Toni had lent Shelby her sweater, she begins to notice the hard glares directed at her by the blonde’s father. It confirmes her theory that the man has some serious issues when it comes to anything slightly gay, and from that day on Toni makes a strenuous effort to keep out of he and his family’s way. 

No matter how hard Shelby is making it. 

Ever since that night on the beach, it’s almost like the young Texan is doing everything in her power to ‘coincidentally’ run into Toni. First, it’s at breakfast when Shelby insists on brewing each of them a cup of coffee, then later when Toni is giving Marcus a bath on the back patio, and once more right before lights out when Shelby claims her window is jammed shut and asks Toni for help (it ends up only being locked).

Things continue as such for the next week: The Goodkind’s wake up bright and early to explore the island as a family, following David like a pack of lost puppies as he leads them through their daily list of activities, only for them to return back in a tired heap- Shelby always finding her way by Toni’s side one way or another. 

Toni tries to ignore her, really she does- but the girl is stubborn, and by the end of the third week she gives up altogether. It’s not like she hates Shelby- she doesn’t- but there’s something about her Toni doesn’t quite get. The always to perky attitude, the determination to befriend every soul she comes across. It’s a persona, a mask. Everything about Shelby Goodkind is like a thin veil, and Toni is determined to see through it. 

Well, she would be if her chores didn’t keep her so occupied. 

Toni spends most of her day riding her bike down the narrow streets and waving to familiar faces as she goes along. She’s got a few packages to pick up and deliver today, and she wants to get it all over with as soon as possible. 

Toni reaches the dairy just after noon, and as usual, it's empty safe for Dot and her coworker Rachel Reid.

"Greetings losers," Toni waves.

Rachel looks up from where she's slouched in an old office chair, "Right back at you."

"Who's ordering today?" Dot asks shoving over a plastic bag in Toni's direction.

Toni sneaks a peak within the bag's contents, counting three vapes and a bottle of cheap perfume.

"Fatin," Toni replies, "Sent me to pick it up while I'm out today."

Rachel wrinkles her nose, "I still can't believe you two go around selling those things. Do you have any idea how much damage they can cause to a person's lungs?"

Toni shrugs, "It's not like we're peer pressuring anyone."

Dot nods, "Yeah Rach, these chumps are going to buy them whether it's us selling or not. Might as well make money off it."

Rachel doesn't look convinced but turns back down to her phone nonetheless. 

"So," Dot says, leaning against a shelf, "How are things going down at the Blackburns?" 

Toni sighs, "As good as they can I guess. The Goodkind's are obnoxious and Fatin's dad is still the same prick he was last year." 

Rachel shakes her head, "I'll never understand how you keep up with those tourists every year, T."

"It's not all bad," she assures her, "As long as I keep busy."

Dot claps her on the back, "Yeah well, you're welcome to drop by anytime those Americans give you too much of a fuss."

Toni grins, "I'll be sure to take you up on that."

***

The next day is even hotter than the last. Mr. Blackburn hooks up a few AC units throughout the house, but even then it's not enough to stop the harsh sun from casting it's spell over the house's residents. 

"I think I'm starting to melt into this chair," Martha complains, reclining back in the leather seat.

Toni, who's laying against the cool hardwood floor, lifts her head strenuously. She's wearing nothing but a sports bra and shorts, though it does little to prevent the beads of perspiration forming down the length of her body.

"My skin feels like it's on fire," Toni grumbles, wiping an arm over her forehead. 

"How long do you think it'll take us to die of heat exhaustion?" Leah asks.

Toni looks out the window, taking note of the sun still hanging high in the clear blue sky, "An hour at most." She decides.

The creaking of steps draws each of their attention to the staircase as Shelby and Fatin make their way into the sitting room.

"Hey y'all," Shelby greets, cheerful as ever. She's wearing a flowy yellow sundress, and Toni wonders how warm it must be back where she's from if she can possibly deal with being fully clothed on a day like this.

"Fuck, you three look like shit." Fatin laughs.

Toni sits up, resting back on the palms of her hands to glare at Fatin. 

"How are you two not dying right now?" Martha asks.

"Please," Shelby grins, "A heatwave like this is nothing compared to what we have back in Texas. One year it got so bad the local water tower dried up and we had to buy bottled water for a week."

"Lucky you," Leah mumbles under her breath.

Shelby frowns momentarily, but it's quickly replaced by another smile as she says, "Well, while you three were down here bein' sticks in the mud, Fatin and I came up with the brilliant idea to go for a little sailing!"

The girls stare blankly back at her.

"No way I'm getting on a boat right now." Leah tells her, "I burn faster than a church on Sunday."

Shelby makes a face, "I don't think that's how the saying goes-"

"I'm out too," Martha says, "I've got a bucket full of chores I should probably get started on soon. Toni can take you out on the boat though."

"No way," Toni whines, "why do I have to do it?" 

"Because you have nothing better to do, and you're the only one of us who actually has a boating license," Martha says matter of factly.

"Come on Shalifoe," Fatin says, "It'll be a great time. Plus you'll get to see all this in a bikini," she finishes off, suggestively running her hands down her chest.

Shelby shifts her eyes away from Fatin, clearing her throat. 

Toni groans, "Fine, whatever. But if either of you drowns I'm gonna be pissed."

***

Twenty minutes later they anchor the boat just before the drop-off, giving the girls enough space to swim around without having to worry about getting sucked in by a riptide.

Shelby carefully pulls off her sundress, revealing a modest blue two-piece underneath. It's not as scantily clad as Fatins, who might as well be wearing nothing with the amount of skin that's exposed, but it's enough for Toni to let out a cough of surprise- because holy hell Shelby Goodkind is hot.

She watches as the muscles on Shelby’s back flex subtly as she undoes the messy bun of her hair. Bronze skin shines against the reflection of the ocean; Toni feels her mouth go dry as Shelby leans down to rub sunblock against her well-toned thighs.

Shelby turns around suddenly, oblivious to Toni’s staring. She darts her eyes away, hoping the heat of the day is enough to hide her flushed cheeks. As she does, her gaze snags on Fatin who’s watching her curiously above the rim of her sunglasses. 

Toni swallows and spins away, busying herself with the lifejackets. 

“It’s a mighty fine day for a swim, don’t y’all think?” Shelby asks, squinting in the harsh light. 

Toni merely grunts. 

Fatin hums in agreement, stretching out on one of the boats' cushioned seats like a cat. 

Now that they’re actually on the water, there’s enough breeze that it’s not unbearable to be out in the open. 

Not wanting to get burnt, Toni reaches for the bottle of sunblock and begins running it along her exposed skin. 

“Here, let me.” Shelby offers, taking notice of the way Toni struggles to reach a spot on her back.

Before Toni can muster an excuse, Shelby squirts a glob of lotion in her hand and begins rubbing it carefully along the trail of her spine. 

Toni freezes for a moment, having forgotten how to breathe. 

Shelby chuckles, “No need to look so spooked, I don’t bite.”

“Oh yeah- no, sorry,” Toni stumbles, “It’s just colder than I expected.” Across the deck, she can hear Fatin mumble something, but Toni decidedly ignores her. 

Shelby traces her fingers higher up Toni’s back, massaging the lotion in. As she does, Toni finds herself leaning towards her touch subconsciously. Her eyelids shut briefly, head clouded with the feeling of Shelby’s hands against her. 

The far-off cry of a distant seabird pulls Toni back from her thoughts. She suspects the lotion has probably more than sunk in by now, but Shelby continues rubbing methodically up her shoulders. 

When Shelby’s fingers brush the base of Toni’s neck, a wave of heat drops to her stomach. She jerks away in surprise, moving so quickly she has to steady herself against the edge of the boat lest she stumble overboard. 

Shelby takes a few uncertain steps back, hands thrown cautiously in the air like she’s just been caught breaking the rules. 

“Woah, you alright?” She asks cheeks flushed, “I didn’t hurt you did I?”

“No! No, I’m totally fine,” Toni assures her, looking anywhere but Shelby’s green eyes, “I’m just- uh…”

“Ticklish?” Fatin supplies. 

“Yes, ticklish. Exactly.” She says, sending Fatin a sideways glance. 

Shelby fidgets with the cross necklace hanging from her neck, “If you say so…”

Toni nods, “Honest, I’m great! Never been better.” She shoots Shelby a smile, though by the look she sends back Toni’s pretty sure it comes across more like a grimace. 

She can’t tell if Shelby believes her or not, but it doesn’t matter because soon after Shelby’s doing a cannonball straight into the clear blue water. 

When she resurfaces Shelby shouts, “Come on in girls! The water’s perfect!”

Toni turns towards Fatin, “Aren’t you gonna get in too?”

She shakes her head, “Nah, this mama needs a tan. You and the Virgin Mary over there can knock yourselves out though, I’m fine up here.”

“You mean you dragged me all the way out here and you’re not even gonna get in the water?” Toni scowls. 

Fatin flips up her sunglasses, “You seemed to be enjoying yourself just fine a second ago…” Her eyes flick to Shelby momentarily as she kicks around in the water. 

Toni glowers at her, “Fine, suit yourself.”

She steps over to the side of the boat, letting herself fall back into the crisp blue ocean. The water is cold, but it’s exactly what Toni needs to clear her head. 

When she resurfaces, Shelby’s face is directly in front of hers, pearly white teeth gleaming at her as she grins. 

Toni feels the weight of a hand on her waist, watching as Shelby’s lips shift into a smirk. 

“What-” Shelby doesn’t let her finish before she’s tugging her down, dunking her face back into the ocean. 

“Fuck you!” Toni sputters once she reaches the surface once more. Shelby’s high-pitched laughter rings through her ears as she swims around her. 

“Your face!” Shelby giggles, “You should’ve seen it- you were all like-- blah!” she makes an exaggerated expression, pulling down on her cheeks. 

“I do not look like that.” Toni snarls, but it lacks her usual malice. 

Shelby continues laughing, oblivious to Toni coming up behind her. When she’s close enough, Toni wraps her arms around Shelby’s abdomen and pulls them both under the water. 

They spend the rest of the afternoon out on the boat, taking the occasional break from swimming to re-apply to sunscreen or grab a snack from the cooler Toni packed. 

The three of them decide to call it a day when the tips of their fingers start to shrivel and their lungs burn from long hours of use.

As Toni steers the boat strategically towards the bay, she notices Shelby side-eyeing her out of the corner of her vision. 

“What?” She asks.

Shelby tilts her head, “Huh?”

Toni juts her chin, “You were looking at me funny.”

“It’s nothing,” Shelby says, shuffling closer, “You’re a lot nicer than I expected you to be when we first met, is all.”

“That’s a first,” Toni scoffs, thinking back to all the people- all her peers back at school- who would waste no time in stating the exact opposite. She thinks back to the fights she used to get into with the neighborhood bullies and to all the petty arguments she often ends up dragging Martha into. 

She thinks back to Regan and that night in the car. 

“Most people tend to think I’m an angry bitch,” Toni sighs, “Maybe they’re right.”

Shelby considers this, “Or maybe they just don’t know you like I do.”

Toni tenses. The fuck is that supposed to mean? Shelby’s known her for all of what-- a month? And now she thinks just because they don’t fight like street rats that they’re best friends or something?

“Please, Shelby,” Toni laughs bitterly, “You don’t know the first thing about me.”

At the sudden harshness of her tone, Shelby flinches, “Toni, all I meant was-”

“Fuck off.” She says lowly, “I don’t care.”

She parks the boat at the docks crooked, and it only adds to the slowly growing fire in her chest. Deep in the back of her mind, she knows Shelby didn’t mean any harm- truthfully she doesn’t even know why it made her so angry- but all she can focus on right now is her frustration at how simple a person Shelby thinks she is. 

“You’re overreacting.” Fatin says, “Just because the oceans filled with crabs doesn’t mean you have to act like one too.”

Toni digs her fingernails hard into the crest of her palm- breathing in and out slowly just like her mother taught her many years ago before everything went to shit. 

“Just stay the fuck away from me,” Toni says, “Both of you.”

She stomps off the boat, feeling the sting of tears in her eyes and the burn of Shelby’s gaze on her back as she walks away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I am aware of the fact NZ's seasons are basically flipped, but for the sake of storytelling yall will just have to deal with it 
> 
> \----
> 
> Song recommendation: Loving and Losing by Delaney Bailey


	4. Can the killer in me tame the fire in you?

David takes the family out for a day trip once the heatwave of the past week finally dies down. 

Shelby’s grateful for some much-needed time away from the stuffy air of the summer estate. Being with her family is good. It keeps her in check- a constant reminder of why they’re even here in the first place. 

Spencer and Melody run ahead of the group, pushing and shoving as they bicker back and forth about who is the best pebble skipper. Shelby watches as her little brother windes back his arm, releasing the rock in his hand with a sharp flick. The stone skips twice before sinking beneath the murky water of the bay. He turns proudly to Melody, a haughty grin on his face. 

Shelby takes in her family from where she strays behind them. Her parents are walking hand in hand, whispering and smiling as they look fondly at their youngest offspring. The four of them together look like the picture-perfect family. All they need is a golden retriever and Shelby thinks they’d look straight out of a 90’s sitcom. 

David leans down, pressing a kiss on his wife’s temple. It reminds Shelby of the things Andrew used to do back when they were still together. She wonders for a moment what he’s doing now or if he’s thinking of her.

It almost elects a chuckle out of her, because no- Andrew had forgotten about her as soon as she’d told him they were through. 

He was probably dick deep in Christa Finlay by now anyway. Dirty cheat.

“You doing okay back there Shelby?” Jobeth asks, “You’re awful quiet.”

She smiles back stiffly, “Yeah Mama, just lost in my head is all.”

“Somethin’ bothering you, Shelbs?” David asks, eyeing her expectantly. 

Yes, she wants to scream, because how could there not be? They were stuck on this island for the next two months, Shelby’s only true friend is gone and it’s all her fault, she’s hot and sticky from the constant humidity, and Toni won’t speak to her and Shelby doesn’t even know what she did wrong. 

But she doesn’t say any of that, because the truth is gnarled and ugly.

And God doesn’t do ugly, so neither does Shelby Goodkind.

***

They're playing a game of cards on Martha's bed when Shelby musters up enough courage to ask.

Mrs. Blackburn is downstairs cooking up lunch, and the rest of the girls are out on a trip to the dairy. 

Shelby can hear the polite laughter coming from her and Fatins father. The two men are curt with each other, but their obvious difference in beliefs has caused multiple arguments between them already. They seem to be on decent terms as of late though, so Shelby pays them no heed.

"Uno," Martha exclaims, gripping her last card between her forefinger and thumb. 

Shelby sets down a red number six on top of the pile. Martha jeers out a whoop as she slaps her final card down on top of Shelby's.

"I win again!” Martha says, scooping up the cards back into the box.

Shelby smiles solemnly, “I wouldn’t expect any less from you.”

Martha eyes her while she puts away the box of cards, no doubt noticing the strained look on her face, “You haven’t been your usual self in the past few days. Something up?”

She pauses. On one hand, complaining about Toni to her best friend is probably not the best idea. On the other, maybe Martha could actually give her advice on how to figure out why Toni’s so mad at her in the first place. 

“It’s- it’s about Toni,” Shelby admits.

Martha’s expression falls, “Oh no, what did she do this time? I told her not to give you a hard time this summer.”

Shelby shakes her head fervently, “Toni didn’t do anything! She’s actually been surprisingly kind these past few weeks.”

“Then what’s wrong?” Martha asks, tilting her head.

“I think she’s angry at me,” Shelby says, “but to be honest, I’m not sure why.”

The other girl sighs, “That’s Toni for you. She’s been like that for as long as I’ve known her, angry I mean.”

Shelby frowns, “Are you sure it’s not just ‘cus of me? Sometimes I feel pretty certain she hates my guts.”

“Nope,” Martha says, then more quietly, “ever since her mom walked out on her when she was little… I think she took a piece of Toni with her. Ever since then she’s been all fire.”

“And that’s why she lives with you?” Shelby asks, all the pieces clicking into place. 

Martha nods, “For a while, she lived with her girlfriend Regan, but you can probably guess how that ended up. Toni loves a lot, with her entire being, which never goes too well during the times when things don’t work out.”

Shelby stiffens at Martha’s words. Okay, so it’s not like she was totally oblivious to the possibility of Toni being gay, but it still comes as a surprise to hear Martha confirm her suspicion out loud. Over her time on the island, she’s noticed enough about the girl to give in to her inkling. Sure, most of it had been based on stereotypes- the way she carries herself, the clothes she wears, the way Toni sits, taking up as much space as possible as if no one has ever told her it’s unladylike, or maybe she just doesn’t care enough to listen. 

“Toni has a- a girlfriend?” Shelby asks, trying her best to hide the shake in her voice.

“No, not anymore,” Martha says, “They broke up last year after Toni-”

“After I what?” Toni asks, making both Shelby and Martha spin around in shock. Her jaw is set, face red with anger. Her fingers are clenched so hard against the doorknob that her knuckles have gone stark white, “Finish the sentence, Marty, go on.”

“Toni- you’re back early,” Martha says in an effort to ease the conversation.

“What the fuck were you telling her?” Toni demands, not even looking in Shelby’s direction.

“It’s my fault,” Shelby says, “I asked her a question-”

“If you had something to say you could’ve asked me to my fucking face,” Toni growls.

“Toni, settle down.” Martha says, “If you’d listen to the full story-”

“No, Marty! I don’t have to listen to anyone, let alone someone who goes behind my back to fish for shit that doesn’t even matter anymore!” Toni shouts.

“It’s really not a big deal,” Shelby tries again, “We didn’t mean any harm.”

“I wasn’t fucking talking to you, Texas.” Toni snarls, her fiery gaze hitting her like a punch to the gut. 

“Toni,” Martha warns, standing up tall. 

They hold each others stare for what feels like an eternity, before finally, Toni mumbles, “Fuck this,” turning on one heel and storming out of the bedroom.

Shelby feels herself deflate as the energy in the room crackles away. She feels cold, like the ground after a sudden storm. 

“I’m so sorry, Martha.” Shelby says, shoulders heavy with guilt at having swept the other girl into this mess, “I really shouldn’t have said anything.”

Martha replies, “Don’t apologize for her Shelby. It’s not your fault Toni doesn’t know how to keep her cool.”

The words are spoken with a finality that makes Shelby wonder how many times Martha has apologized for her friend before. 

***

Toni’s not sure how, but somehow she ends up on the back porch with Fatin, watching lazily as she paints a pastel pink across her fingernails. 

She’s complaining about some douchebag she fucked last summer, who ended up stealing a wade of cash from her purse before he left. Toni’s barely listening, focusing instead on the buzz of insects as they call out for their mate in the tall brush. 

“--and that’s why you should never eat a cup of yogurt before having sex.” Fatin finishes, applying a final coat of paint to her littlest finger. 

Toni grunts, unsure what turn the story had taken to get to that point. 

“Were you even listening to me?” Fatin asks.

“Uh, no, not really,” Toni admits. 

Fatin sighs and sets down the polish. She hoists herself up from the lawn chair, taking a seat instead next to Toni on the porch steps. 

“What’s up Shalifoe,” Fatin asks seriously, “You’ve been in a total slump ever since that day on the boat.”

Toni hesitates, telling people how she feels has never been a strong suit of hers. On the other hand though, this is Fatin- one of the only people Toni’s ever actually come to trust- and while Fatin pride’s herself on knowing the most ‘tea’ she also knows how good of a listener her friend is. 

“It’s silly,” Toni tells her.

Fatin shakes her head, “Feelings are never silly, pipsqueak- even if your reactions to them are.”

She sighs, “It’s fucking Shelby. She’s- I don’t even know.”

“Sexy as fuck in the most annoying way possible?” Fatin smirks, nudging Toni with her elbow. 

“What? Fuck no! God, ew- I mean, yes-” Toni’s eyes widen, “Yes she’s annoying I mean,” she sputters, “not that she’s… uh… sexy… or whatever.”

“I see,” Fatin says, rubbing her chin, “Continue.”

Toni rubs her hands together, “I hate how she thinks she knows everything about me. Like, yeah sure we’ve lived together for like a month, but what right does that give her to say all that bullshit?”

“Maybe she’s trying to tell you something?” Fatin suggests. 

She wrinkles her nose, “Tell me what?”

The other girl shrugs, “Hell, I don’t know. That bitch is hard as hell to read.”

“Tell me about it.” Toni mumbles, “Not to mention how she’s all lovey-dovey with Marty now, and get this- Marty actually fucking told her about what happened between me and Regan last summer.”

Fatin cocks an eyebrow, “You see, this is why I never get down with chicks. All the fights and petty drama- dudes are way easier to understand.”

A part of Toni wants to argue about how untrue that is, but the blood rushing to her ears drowns out any coherent thoughts.

“I’m not fucking petty. Marty’s getting taken for a ride. All Shelby wants to do is get on her good side until she gets off this fucking island. I’m just trying to look out for my best friend so she doesn’t get her heartbroken by a bitch who won’t even remember her by the time she gets home.”

Fatin looks at her, “Are you an Aries?”

“What?” Toni asks incredulously, “Who the fuck cares? God!”

She’s about to get up and leave when Fatin snatches her by the wrist and pulls her back down.

“Jesus, fine! No more jokes.” Fatin promises. 

Toni glares at her, disbelieving. 

She sighs, “Look, have you ever thought that maybe actually talking to Shelby would fix this whole thing?”

“I don’t have anything to say to her.”

Fatin rolls her eyes, “Okay, well, judging by the past five minutes you’ve spent complaining about her- that’s obviously not true.”

When Toni doesn’t answer, she rests a calming hand on her lower back, “Come on Toni, is fighting for the rest of the summer really worth it?”

She lets out a huff of breath from her nose. Fatin is right. Hell, Toni doesn’t even really know why she’s so mad anyway. 

“I guess.” Toni mumbles. She meets Fatins gaze, “Thanks for uh, listening and stuff. I know it was dumb.”

Fatin grins, “Anytime Shalifoe, any time.”

***

The knock on her door comes just after sundown, so light Shelby hardly hears it the first time. 

“Come in.” She calls, expecting it to be one of her parents. 

Instead, the door creaks open slowly, relieving a shy-looking Toni on the other side. 

Shelby sits up from where she lays in bed, flushing when she realizes the only clothes she has on is a baggie white t-shirt and a set of too small running shorts. 

“Hi.” Toni greets stiffly, looking everywhere but Shelby.

“Hey.”

When Toni stays quiet, Shelby asks, “Is everything okay?”

She scratches the back of her head nervously, “I was wondering if we could… talk?”

“Here?” Shelby asks, worried about what her father might say if he caught the two of them alone in her room.

Toni shrugs, “I mean, yeah. Unless you wanted to go somewhere else…”

“Is there a place you had in mind?”

Toni ponders this for a moment. Her eyes flicker to Shelby momentarily, “How do you feel about sneaking out?”

***

Riding on the back of Toni’s bike, their bodies pressed tightly together under the cloak of night, was not how Shelby had expected this night to go. 

Yet here she is, gripping tightly around the other girl's waist as she pedals purposefully down an unfamiliar dirt road. 

Traveling alone at night with a person she’s hardly known for a month is definitely not the safest thing Shelby’s done-and who knows, maybe it’ll come back and bite her in the ass- but for some reason, even in spite of her awful temper, Shelby feels safe around Toni. 

“Comfy?” Toni asks at some point. The air is chilly, but Shelby had thrown on Toni’s sweater before they left, so really it’s not too bad at all.

“A little bumpy,” Shelby admits, wondering not for the first time where Toni is taking her.

“We’ll be there soon.” She says, pumping her legs even harder. 

Several minutes pass before Toni pulls to a gentle stop. She hops off the bike skillfully, and Shelby immediately misses the feeling of her back pressed up against her. 

Toni helps her off the bike, gesturing for Shelby to follow. 

The night air is busy with noise from animals Shelby can’t name. She remembers reading once about how dangerous nights in Australia are- what with the spiders and snakes and all-and wonders if it’s the same for New Zealand.

They stop at a small clearing on the top of a hill, overlooking the vast expanse of the island. For as far as the eye can see are rolling hills of grass and trees. On the horizon, the distant lights of the nearby village can be seen, nothing but a small blurb on Shelby’s radar. 

She gasps, staring up into the night sky filled with stars. She’s never seen so many constellations, the light pollution back home being strong enough to drown it all out. 

“This is amazing,” Shelby whispers, scared that if she speaks any louder the world around her may shatter to pieces. 

Toni takes a seat on the hard ground, tilting her head for Shelby to join her. 

“It’s my favorite place to be.” Toni tells her softly, “I come here sometimes when I need time to think.”

“So not very often then, huh?” Shelby teases. Toni glares at her, but there’s a smile playing on her lips. 

They’re quiet then, mood turning somber. Toni fidgets with the tall blades of grass, picking through them absentmindedly. 

“I wanted to say sorry.” She manages eventually, “I know I kinda blew up on you.”

Shelby grazes her teeth against her bottom lip, considering her words, “I’m sorry too. Asking Martha those things was pretty shitty.”

Toni sighs, “It’s my fault you had to ask in the first place.”

“That doesn’t make it okay.” Shelby points out. 

She chuckles, breathy and slightly annoyed, “Can you step down from your pedestal for once and just let me apologize?”

Shelby grins cheekily, “Would I really be me if I did?”

“No, I suppose not.” Toni laughs, then, “What uh, what did Marty tell you, by the way?”

“Oh um,” she says, shifting awkwardly, “nothin’ specific. Just told me why you run so hot all the time. Something to do with your mom and uh, your ex-girlfriend…”

Toni clenches her, staring hard out at the night sky above her. “My dad's been a no show since day one… and my mom? She’s in and out of rehab like it’s a fucking white castle.” She begins slowly, “As for Regan and I… I dunno, I guess I always knew it’d never last.”

“What happened?” Shelby probes, “If you don’t mind me asking.”

Toni rubs a tired hand over her face, the shadows of the night aging her far beyond her years, “She broke up with me so I smashed her fucking windshield in.”

Shelby watches the lines of regret set into Toni’s face as she recalls the night, and Shelby understands all at once why she’d gotten so angry that day on the boat. 

But Shelby also understands her pain- maybe even better than Toni herself. 

She wants to tell Toni it’s alright- to tell her best friend and their fight on the porch and the wave of numbness that sunk into her bones because ‘it’s Becca Gilroy,’ and ‘her mom found her in the car,’ and it was all Shelby’s fault. 

“I think I was scared, y’know?” Toni says, oblivious to Shelby’s inner turmoil, “That Regan was my last chance at something good. Hell, sometimes I still think she is.”

“Isn’t that what we’re all afraid of?” Shelby asks, voice barely reaching above a whisper, “That we won’t be loved? That we’ll be all alone?”

Toni looks up at her for the first time that night, the glint of her eyes almost invisible in the dim light. 

“Yeah,” she says, “Yeah, maybe we are.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates might slow down after this, so sit tight :/
> 
> also I didn't edit this chapter cuz I'm lazy, so if stuff sounds weird that's why lmao
> 
> \----
> 
> Song recommendation: Killer + The Sound, by Phoebe Bridgers and Noah & Abby Gunderson

**Author's Note:**

> lemme know what u guys think, and if u have ideas for further chapters I'm all ears so don't be afraid to comment anything


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